Blog | Hypno4success

Memory lapse or Alzheimer’s? Multi-tasking fuels forgetting

August 16th, 2010

By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY

SAN DIEGO — Those twinges of forgetfulness that appear to be getting more pronounced may worry you. After all, the statistics are scary: Every 70 seconds, someone in the USA develops Alzheimer’s. But every lapse isn’t a signal that your memory is kaput. Click on this link for whole article:

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2010-08-12-apamemory12_CV_N.htm

Whew! Apparently my all-wise BFF Allen was right. Multi-tasking doesn’t save time, energy or make the best use of our brains. I have to admit, doing things in a linear way certainly feels better in day to day living.

Here’s to your success…

Susan

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026

Posted in Good Stuff from Other Contributors | 2 Comments »

The Keys to Happiness, Part 3

July 9th, 2010

Creating Inner Happiness

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the

realization of what you have.

Anonymous

______________________________________

Statue of Buddha Representing Contentment

Pure Bliss

_____________________

It has been mentioned that the Human Givens model is simply a restatement of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. While I agree that the Hierarchy of Needs provided a wonderful base for the Human Givens model, what becomes significant about the list of Human Givens is the idea that when these needs are not satisfied and in balance, we begin to experience specific signs of emotional distress.

Remember that we are organisms hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Do these two primal drives ever collide? All the time. We want to eat comfort food but we want to be slender and fit, socially acceptable. We want to rev up our adrenline with risky behavior but…what’s not against the law is probably dangerous. We want to play video and internet games from sunrise to sundown but the bills need to be paid or we will be scuffling for food and shelter. And so it goes.

It has been suggested that one of the primary hallmarks of maturity is the ability to delay gratification. That seems reasonable to me but what about when those primary needs for love, affection, resonable health, exercise, creative expression, fun, interaction with others, some sense of security (or perhaps, at least, predictability), some sense of belonging to a community, having some purpose, having value to self and others are left wanting for too long.

When we start having those vague feelings of not-ok-ness, vague aches and pains that have no real source, the drive to distract ourselves with anything that takes our attention away from our feelings, then it’s time to take a look at the checklist. Take our emotional pulses, so to speak. What ideas haunt us and bug us: if I only had time/money/energy/another person to do XXX with, life would be better?

What do you daydream about? What is your life on hold for, waiting for the perfect time when everything else is completed? What are the seemingly little things that you find yourself resenting or hungering for?

These are the type of messages our “emotional selves” send us. If we don’t listen, we begin to decompensate, fall apart, cease to function effectively.

Learn to take your emotional pulse. Learn to ask your self “what do I really want out of life?” or “what’s missing?” or “what do I daydream about?” or “what am I waiting for the perfect time to engage in?” The answers will come and you will find your life in better balance.

Simple but important. Simple but not necessarily easy. But then, it is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about.

There are many things we can figure out for ourselves but if you are finding that you’re having trouble, hypnotherapy can help.

Here’s to your success,

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026

Posted in A Word From the Wise, News | No Comments »

Missing Pieces of the Happiness Puzzle (part 2)

June 26th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance,

the wise grows it under his feet.

—James Oppenheim

__________________________________________-

Practice this and Happiness will Follow

_______________________________

One thing we know for sure: you can’t be happy if you’re not alive! I’m certain we agree on that.

There is no debate about our physical survival needs. Deprived of these we will quickly die.

But what about our more vague and subtle emotional need? According to Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, in their book the “Human Givens,” if we ignore or refuse to attend to certain emotional needs in our daily life, we may very well not feel so enthusiastic about being alive.

These needs include:

Security and safety
Attention (giving and receiving)
Affection (give and receiving)
Sense of autonomy and control
Being part of a wider community
Friendship and intimacy
Status in social groupings
Sense of competence and achievement
Some feeling of meaning, purpose, value in life
Enough challenge to push us to grow

To these I would like to add that each of us needs a reasonable amount of “downtime,” “me-time,” “non-demand” time other than sleeping, to do with as we wish.

It is easier to ignore these needs, to put them on the back burner while we attend to the “obligations” of our lives. And, we can get away with it…for awhile. Neglected, ignored or, more frequently, unrecognized, for any length of time and we will start getting those “Pay Now or Die” messages from our inner selves.

These messages often come in the form of what I call a “gnawing inner discontent.” Nothing is really wrong but nothing is really right either. These messages are delivered through vague aches and pains, bone-dragging weariness, insomnia or sleeping too much. They might be delivered as “panic attacks” or vague chronic uneasiness.

If you continue to ignore the messages, you may find yourself taking the next step: drinking, drugging, eating too much and of the comfort variety, spending, shopping, gambling, any and all form of addictive, compulsive behaviors. Somewhere along the line of denial we learned that these “quick fixes” will distract us and even give us a quick shot of endorphins to ease the pain. Temporarily. Very temporarily.

The caveat: as physical pain is an urgent message to attend to something potentially life-threatening, emotional pain is not so immediate, precise or easily discovered.

Remember the quote from Henry David Thoreau: ”The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Did it ever occur to you that he might have been speaking of you…or me?

If any of these words hit a tender spot in you, you might want to do a scan or your own inner landscape. Learn to take your own pulse. When you feel these signs of unease, ask yourself: ”What is it that I need right now?” And for God’s sake, take yourself seriously.

What are some specific signs and symptoms? Tune in for part 3 of Keys to Happiness.

In the meantime, a wise mentor and/or hypnotherapy can help.

Here’s to your success.

Susan French

877-583-2026

http://www.hypno4success.com

Tags: addiction, alcoholism, contentment, discontent, eating disorders, emotional needs, happiness, inner peace though hypnotherapy, overeating
Posted in A Word From the Wise, Attitude Adjustments for Happiness | No Comments »

The Key to Happiness: Wants vs. Needs

June 19th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

“The key to happiness is knowing the difference between wants and needs.”
– Susan French

“Content(ment) makes poor men rich; discontentment makes rich men poor.”
– Benjamin Franklin

And then there’s comedian George Burns’ take on the subject:
“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
— George Burns

The Key to Happiness and Contentment

It’s easy to be confused about what constitutes “needs” vs “wants.” To begin with, I divide needs into first tier and second tier. First tier needs are physical survival needs: air, water, food, sleep, safety.

Second tier needs are more tied in with emotional survival. When second tier needs are not fulfilled, we feel unhappy or unsatisfied. We don’t die from lack of second tier needs, at least not right away.

But be very aware: when emotional needs are not attended to, we turn to any kind of compulsive and/or addictive behaviors in an effort to hide from the discomfort.

Physical needs are immediate. If we are deprived of air, water, food, sleep, safety, the consequences are immediate and if not addressed will result in death.

Emotional needs are more subtle, more ambiguous, easier to ignore. Clinical research suggests that it is usually unfulfilled emotional needs that drive us into self-destructive behaviors such as addictions, compulsive behaviors. This nagging inner discontent also drive the physically self-destructive behaviors like cutting, nail biting, skin picking, hair picking, even eating disorders.

Will you die from unfulfilled emotional needs? Yes, eventually. The death certificates never say “he died from excessive heartache” but they should.

You might think for a moment of people who are homeless, who live in poverty or places under the daily siege of war at their front doors. You might think Congo, Darfur, Rwanda or those who have survived concentration camps of all stripes, live in chronic pain, living on subsistence wages and being hungry all the time, or being sick and having no access to health care. Dismal and disheartening.

There are also very ordinary but necessary emotional needs that, if neglected, make life seem not WORTH living. What’s worse, we can spend our lifetime trying figure out why we’re unhappy, asking ourselves again and again: what’s missing?

I was most fortunate to read the book “Human Givens,” by Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, esteemed research psychologists from the UK. It was through the ideas presented in “Human Givens” that I began to realize that unfulfilled emotional needs are just as deadly as unfulfilled physical needs: it just takes longer to die.

Griffin and Tyrrell list the areas of our lives which must be somewhat fulfilled to experience even a meager level of that which we call “happiness” or “contentment. The book makes some wonderful observations and is well worth the read.

These Human Givens are the ”quality of life” needs that are so often missed. Their lists include things like relative safety and security, shelter from the elements, connection, feeling of purpose in life, enough challenge to make us reach and grow, giving and receiving affection and attention, being above subsistence existence and so on.

Check them out if your life seems basically fine to you but you feel something lacking. Perhaps you have more than your share of transient anxiety or depression. Or vague feelings of discontent. Feelings that something is missing but you can’t put your finger on it. And what could that something be?

Part 2 to follow: The Missing Pieces that call your name and how to fulfill them. Don’t miss it.

Here’s to your success.

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

.

Tags: addictions, emotional needs, happiness, keys to happiness, survival, survival needs, unhappiness
Posted in A Word From the Wise, News | No Comments »

The Art of Communication (or, where did it all go wrong?)

May 4th, 2010

These last three weeks have been my Waterloo. Every single thing I tried to accomplish went wrong.

“WTF: Is Mercury in retrograde? The moon void-of-course? Is it finally Armageddon?” I heard myself mutter as if from far away.

I consider myself to be a reasonable communicator. I usually have no trouble being understood or getting what I need. But every single thing I tried to accomplish in the last few weeks floundered against obstacle after obstacle. My son-in-law, who is Buddhist, wryly suggested that perhaps it was time to chant.

Nah! I thought. Perhaps I need to refresh my communication skills. I just need to listen better. Be more precise in my speaking. But listening didn’t seem to work. And neither did words.

I felt like I was in a dream and the streams of words were just passing in the night. I couldn’t even blame it on thick foreign accents because everyone I spoke to was an English- first- language person.

Where was I going wrong?

So I did what I always do when I need to figure something out: I went to my books. Every book I had on the art of communicating was flung to the floor for review. I even reread “Meaning from Madness: Understanding the Hidden Patterns That Motivate Abusers: Narcissists, Borderlines, and Sociopaths” by Richard Skerritt.

Wisdom, wisdom everywhere and not a drop of insight…

An important project was taken in the wrong direction. I thought I had been pretty specific. That was quite a battle. You know the kind: when folks pretend you said something you didn’t and then try to convince you that they’re right.

I ordered a new phone (the Droid, by the way. DO NOT BUY ONE!) and every phone they sent me (a total of five) malfunctioned. My Mojo: is it gone?

My car was smashed in my parking lot and the insurance company tells me that I can’t have a rental car until all claims are in and agreed upon. Her precise words “Until we have all the money???” What??? I cocked my ear to hear better. Her words didn’t change.
Although I was entitled to a rental car and, since my car was parked and I was the victim, and the guy who hit me has insurance and gave me all his info, his insurance company doesn’t have to give me a rental until everyone has filed their individual claims and there has been some kind of determination.

I started to scream: “Determination??? He hit me. I have no car. We both have insurance and you’re telling me I have to wait until “you know that there’s money???”

I start hearing horror stories: “Three years to get what my car was worth. Good thing I had a bike.” “Two years to fight for my repairs. I’ve been on the bus. They’re still jerking me around.”

“I’m going to call the insurance commissioner” I shrieked. Somehow her smug smirk came through the phone wires. And I thought Goldman Sachs was bad.

The two back-to-back clients who came to me for weight loss first went to the wrong location and then claimed they never made a second appointment as I cooled my heels at the Clinic. Gaslight? Dementia? Should I get my hearing checked?
The coup de grace: my (ex-) hair dresser turned my hair from it’s usual blonde to cinnamon. When I went back to have her fix it, after a $300 bill, she made it worse. I stopped payment on the second check but my hair is still cinnamon.

My second plan of attack after books is to turn to the wisdom of old quotes.

There were some great ones. I’ll share them with you. Perhaps they will make you laugh as you imagine my face turning purple. But not a one of them had an answer.

“Two monologues do not make a dialogue.” -Jeff Daly
“It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.” -Issac Asimov
“Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.” -Robert Benchley
“It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.” -Erma Bombeck
“Nothing is so simple that it cannot be understood.” Jr. Teague”

My fav:

“In saying what is obvious, never choose cunning. Yelling works better.” -Cynthia Ozick

And finally:

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” -Anthony Robbins

No damned kidding!

Mercury goes direct on the 11th. Can’t wait.

They let me out of the nuthouse on the promise of good (quiet) behavior.

I traded my “guns for giftcards” just to be safe.

Hmmmm…do I dare to try again???

What do you guys think?

Susan

www.hypno4success.com

Comments always appreciated.

Tags: communication skills, courage, getting through difficulties, obstacles, quotations on communication
Posted in Musings and Observations by the Blogger Herself | 2 Comments »

Blogs, Blogging, Bloggers: listen up. It’s time to have a point.

April 18th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes

but in having new eyes.

Marcel Proust –

French novelist (1871 – 1922)

____________________

Perfect Pondering on a Sunday Morning

__________________________________________________

One of my most appreciated gurus on the subject of blogging is Darren Rowse of http://www.probloggers.com .

I was reading one of his blogging advice posts and I had a Eureka moment.

When blogging, it’s important to have a point, he suggested gently. Hmmm,I muttered to myself: ”He’s got a point!”

At this moment I promised myself to have a specific point in the future, a well-defined point.

It was time to soul-search again. I went back over old posts to see if I indeed had had a point, and if were obvious to the casual reader.

Hmmm, I muttered again, “”perhaps he really DOES have a point!

Focus is good. A good beginning starts with an end in mind, doesn’t it? It will be good discipline for this undisciplined mind.

Being clear on one’s point makes it easier to convey that point to others.

Then I pondered this some more, over several cups of Sunday coffee. Slowly I began to realize that my conversational style was suddenly constipated by the need to be the perennial “A” student, perfection personified. Yuch. Never fun.

After all, I was well-schooled in conversational writing style from my life-long addiction to women’s magazines: years of having been caught by a good headline and seduced into buying the stupid thing for $4, $5, even $6, $7 or $8.

After which I would realize that I had just forked out good money (one more time) to buy a collection of slick advertising: pictures of models and luxurious products that only made me want to eat more ice cream.

I had always rationalized that if I came out of the market with four women’s magazines instead of cookies and doritos, I was ahead of the game. Wasn’t I???

But I digress, don’t I?

Having a point: is it really necessary: Truth or Fiction?

Doesn’t the best writing meander, a flash of the writer’s soul? Isn’t that what we call the best literature?

I mean, after all, how many term papers, monthly reports and Master’s theses have you read lately? Even US New and World Report and the Wall Street Journal pay copywriters to seduce unwitting customers, don’t they?

In summary, I weighed all of my musings with as much objectivity as I could muster.

From now on I am 1000% committed to trying to have a point.

And that’s as good as it’s gonna get.

Here’s to YOUR success…

Susan

(Your very own unashamed hybrid of Andy Rooney and Erma Bombeck)

http://www.hypno4success.com/blog

877-583-2026

Tags: being perfect, blogging, perfectionism, perfectionitis, when being perfect is in your way, writing, writing for blogging vs formal writing
Posted in Musings and Observations by the Blogger Herself | No Comments »

All’s Well That Ends Well…if it ends well

April 15th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.

Dr. Seuss
US author & illustrator (1904 – 1991)

_________________________

At last...we hope.

There are certainly times when it doesn’t seem as if a task is ever going to reach it’s conclusion.

My favorite quote is one of John Lennon’s: ”Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I find myself repeating it often. It keeps me sane.

There are some other favorite phrases that I mutter to myself when I can’t see then end of the tunnel.

“One day at a time” (often one minute at a time)

“Easy does it but do it”

“We strive for progress, not perfection”

“It’s always about the journey and not the destination”

And last but certainly never least

“God grant me the Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference”

These are my sanity savers. Feel free to mutter them whenever you need to. They help.

And if they don’t help, hypnotherapy can.

Here’s to YOUR success…

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026

Tags: Overcoming obstacles, Saving sanity Finding serenity Getting through difficult days When life seems darkest...
Posted in Attitude Adjustments for Happiness | 1 Comment »

Don’t you hate it when technology doesn’t work properly?

April 13th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.

Albert Camus
French existentialist author & philosopher (1913 – 1960)

Ready to Kick A** and Take Names? I am.

________________________________

It will be most interesting to see if this will work this time. One thing after another. And my new Droid doesn’t work and my car got smashed into the next space in my own parking lot by someone who said his brakes failed.

So he must have been doing some kind of speed to totally smash through an iron security gate while pulling in, push the gate off it’s hinges and then smack into the back of my car.

Is Mercury in retrograde? Is the moon void-of-course? Did a mean gypsy put a spell on me? Am I receiving mystical messages to run for the hills?

Who knows but the nose knows and apparently the nose doesn’t know anything at the moment.

Ah well

Here’s to SOMEONE’S success.

Susan

Posted in Case Histories | No Comments »

HYPNOSIS FOR QUITTING SMOKING

April 11th, 2010

Succeeding at Quitting Smoking

Hypnosis has proven itself to be a valuable aid in helping people to quit smoking and accomplishing the most daunting of tasks.

As they say in the Nike commericals: hypnosis helps you to “Just Do It.” Quit smoking easily using hypnosis.

Hypnosis is simply a name we have created to describe the most effective brain state for new learning and reprogramming old unwanted habits.

Clinical research has shown many times that hynosis has the peak rate of success in smoking cession. The smoking cessation rate is somewhere in the neighborhood of 85% or more if done correctly.

All you really need to do is suit up, show up, and follow instructions. You’ll find yourself to be a nonsmoker within a few days or a few weeks.

Take a moment to recall something that you accomplished that might have seemed undo-able at the beginning. Your Mount Everrest might have been learning to play a musical instrument. It might have been becoming an ace golfer or giving a speech with total calmness and confidence. It could be something as insignificant seeming as acquiring an A on a spelling or math test.

What it was specifically that you succeeded at, despite your gravest fears, isn’t important. What IS significant is how you accomplished it: your process from beginning to ultimate success.

But, alas, you probably have no clue as to “how” you did it. But I’ll bet you can remember the fear, the feelings of being overwhelmed, the feelings of wanting to run away.

But at some point, consciously or not, you made a decision that “enough was enough.” You were prepared do whatever it took to succeed.

Just recalling those times in your life when you became “The Winner You Dreamed About” begins a blueprint for the actions your body and mind will take to lead you to success. Without effort you went from “enough is enough” to success.

In hypnosis and other brain-training disciplines we teach that the body follows the mind/brain. If you hold a thought, for instance, of a juicy, tart, sour, yellow lemon, you will probably find yourself salivating. Ah-hah! That’s exactly how to do it in real-time.

Remembering past successes creates a blueprint for future successes. By imagining what you want now and getting out of your own way, your body/brain/mind/soul/spirit will begin to create your dream. Stay with it. Continue to picture yourself as you want to be. Continue to see yourself “just doing it.” Learn to dismiss negative messages and returning to the picture of your success. Voile’. As you see it, it will become your reality.

It really is that easy. Try it. Hypnosis is the brainwave state in which we do our best learning, relearning, and creating. It is a state of calm and focused concentration and you just kind of let it do its thing. It really is that easy.

If you find that you need help on your path, call for a free consultation.

Here’s to YOUR success…

Susan French

877-583-2026

http://www.hypno4success.com/programs/quit-smoking/

Tags: quit smoking hypnosis, smoking cessation
Posted in Hypnosis Programs - General, News | No Comments »

Three Ways to Avoid Frustration and Stress

April 7th, 2010

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem

brings us face to face with another problem.

Martin Luther King

___________________________________________________

COPING WITH LIFE’S OBSTACLES WITHOUT GOING BALD

Wait! There’s a better way

Stress and frustration in life is inevitable. It’s how you cope with stress and frustration that determines your mental, physical and spiritual health. It also determines your perception of yourself as being happy or unhappy.

Three ideas that are helpful:

1. Life is a journey, not an event

2. There is no reality, only perception

3. Watch the meaning you give to life events (good, bad, pleasure, pain, helpful, disastrous, safe or dangerous). The meanings we chose to assign to events results in the way we feel.

When you start pulling out your hair, strand by strand, biting your nails into the quick, packing a survival kit and heading for the unpopulated place you can think of, you have to go back to those primary ideas.

Seeing life as a journey, not an event, brings us back to center. Life on life’s terms. Serenity. Surrender. Acceptance. Attitude and perception are the most determinant factor in daily happiness.

If that fails, remember, hypnotherapy is THE answer to stress management. All questions are welcomed.

Here’s to your success,

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026

All questions, comments and suggestions are appreciated. Ask for a free consultation.

Tags: "the power of hypnosis, hypnosis to overcome frustration, perception and happiness
Posted in Attitude Adjustments for Happiness, News | No Comments »