Resolution, Not Conflict

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An inch of time cannot be bought with an inch of gold.

–Chinese Proverb

Maybe if I Just Run a Little Faster...

Every so often I stop and take stock of: what I’m doing, what my goals are, how am I doing on the path towards my goals, what have I accomplished and so on. I came face-to-face with the biggest monstor of all: each 24-hour cycle of our lives is finite. It has 24 hours, x minutes, y seconds. No more, no less.

The wealthiest of men cannot buy more time. Nor can time be stolen from the poorest of us. It is finite. I stress the word “finite” because I realized that most of us tend to think of time as being “infinite,” “limitless.”

What I mean when I say infinite or limitless is that we tend to think in terms of stealing thirty-eight minutes from our sleep, or multi-tasking to get two things done using only one segment of time, or, I don’t feel like it now, I’ll do twice as much tomorrow.

We bargain with Time the way we bargain with Life and God and Death. Admit it. We all do it. In the end we are slammed into the fact that Time is finite.

I thought it would be helpful to look at each day (twenty-four hours) as a single pie chart. Eight hours (more or less) get used up by sleep, ten to however many hours get used up by work and all things related, such as getting ready for work, driving to work, getting to our workstation, etc.

Hmmmm. If you are visualizing this in your head as you read, you must realise that eight (one third of your day) hours of sleep plus ten to twelve hours used up by sleep already takes up twenty hours. Yikes. That only leaves four hours out of each day (plus parts of weekends) to do anything and everything else.

Then you start thinking about the other things that you 1) want to do, 2) have to do, 3) get trapped into doing by your own passivity. And we haven’t really even counted bathing, eating, cooking, dressing, paying bills, talking to your mother.

Four measly hours of discretionary time spending. No wonder I never feel like I’ve gotten anything done. No wonder I’m always on my own back about what a loser, failure, lazy, layabout rotter I am.

I start listing and sorting. This DOES NOT make me feel any better. Working out, cooking healthy foods, washing my car, cleaning my room, doing my wash, calling my friends and family, working on my business, writing my blog, playing the piano, listening to music, watching a movie, reading, studying for the class that seems to require the same number of hours as my basic living does.

No wonder I call it a “Time-Suck-Pie.” There’s no downtime, no me time, no being a ‘lazy layabout’ time. My mind directs itself towards time-management books, courses, dvds, trainers. Anything!?! You’ve heard of stretching a dollar. Have you ever considered trying to stretching an hour?

Then reality hits. There is no such thing as stretching an hour. Time is finite. A significant portion of each moment of our existence is already spoken for before we even wake up. Arrrrrgggg. I’m going back to sleep, for just a few stolen (hah) moments, to ponder this awful reality.

Hopefully, my concept of viewing each twenty-four hours as a “time-suck-pie” is helpful to you. If you feel overwhelmed, well …hypnosis can help. Call me. We’ll steal a moment together.

Here’s to your success…

Susan  French

susanfrench2010@gmail.com

http://www.hypno4success.com

888-333-3688

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The last sound on the worthless earth will be two human beings trying to launch a homemade spaceship and already quarreling about where they are going next.

-William Faulkner

Familiar Fights with "Beloved Opponents?"

          I wonder if you can let your mind wander back to the last time someone made you so angry you couldn’t speak? You know the feeling: stomach in a knot, the words-you-wished-you’d-said racing in your head, you can’t force yourself into work no matter how hard you try, you feel like you’re going to explode?

I’m not talking about random, unimportant people either. I’m talking about the people in your family, spouse, mother, father, sister, brother, children, BFF, BFF’s spouse, co-worker, Boss. The people you can’t avoid or ignore. And I’m talking not talking about a once-in-a-while lapse in good judgment. I’m talking about those people in your life who you love or like for many, many reasons but there is that one wrenching trait that tears you a new one, every so often.

What do you do? What CAN you do? There are all kinds of communication skills suggestions in every fifth self-help book. And they’re valuable. They’re based on solid research and science. Speak in “I” language. Resist blaming, criticizing, judging. Maintain a strong intention to understand and find common ground. Remember why you love this person when you’re not angry.

So what’s the problem? The problem is that usually your Beloved Opponent is (maybe both, but usually one person) being very insensitive, selfish, disrespectful and/or mean. This person, at this time, refuses to see how they are at fault in any way.

So there you are. First you may fantasize about hiring a hit-man or resurrecting your rusty karate sidekick and kick the crap out of him/her. You breathe. You count. You kick the garbage can or go for a walk. You consider never speaking to this miserable jerk again, ever, in your life. But that passes. You probably run a number of scenarios through your consciousness and discard each one because you know anything you say or do is going to make it worse.

After all is said and done, then what? After you’ve written ten mad letters, filled with the worst expletives you can muster, (which you do not send, by the way). Your rage is beginning to ease. You are acutely aware that in the end, you have to communicate with this person. What’s worse is that you’ve probably been through this battle before with this person. He has probably even copped to his culpability in the past, after ravaging and devastating battles.

The issue at hand probably falls in the category of what folks in 12-Step groups call Character Defects. We all have them. They are our own blind spots. They are the things we can’t quite stop doing or we can’t quite see in context or in that moment: passive aggression, aggressive aggression, arrogance, selfishness, insensitivity, wanting everything our own way and in our own time frame, self-will run riot.

But here it is again. How do you get from the feelings of anger, pain and injustice to a place where you and this “Beloved Other” can begin to make up?

From years of doing counseling and more years of just living, I know that you only have one real option: you have to drain the rage you feel, in whatever way you can do it, until you are ready to remember why you loved this person in the first place.

I do it by writing many completely uncensored “mad letters” to the offender, refining each one down, removing expletives, until I can find a place of calmness and openness. I vent vigorously and self-righteously to whoever will listen. I go for a walk, a run or a swim. This level of rage can take days to process out; days lost of all productive action until you finally reach a place where you can say what you need to say in two or three sentences with a very tightly held intension to simply express how you feel without blaming the offender or expecting them to change their behavior.

Drs. Margaret and Jordan Paul, a husband and wife marriage-and-family therapy team, have written a wonderful book on this subject. Their book, “Do I Have to Give Up Me to be Loved by You?” lays out an effective way to bridge this painful state back to loving connection without creating the defensive stonewalling that occurs in these all-to-familiar situations.

The basic idea that they teach is that conflict is inevitable. They suggest that the only pathway to resolution is to talk to the other person in a way that doesn’t engender the defensive stone-walling that usually occurs. Their point is that if you have to find a way to tell your side of it, ie, “The World According to You,” without expecting the other person to change or take blame but only to hear how it feels to you.

They make a strong case that whenever you come into a conflict with the intention to get the ‘OTHER’ to accept blame or to change, you close the bridge of understanding and compassion. The only way you can communicate with your “ Beloved Opponent” and avoid defensiveness and blocking of communication is to use this “simple but not easy” formula. There is only one way is to approach this scenario that works.

        It is only when you are able to share and disclose “The World According to You” is without expecting your “Beloved Other” to change or be wrong that walls come down. The only way you can get your BO (to “hear your side of the story”) is to share without expectation of change or acceptance of blame. This really is the only path to intimacy and understanding. The only path.

 How do you do that? You could read the book or buy the recordings. You could let me guide you through these “SNARK-filled” waters back to the days when your felt love for this “Beloved Other.” Or you can do nothing and continue to experience this crushing disconnection. It is, of course, up to you, but if you want to come and ask me, you have my email address and my telephone numbers. I’ll be happy to share what I know.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

Susanfrench2010@gmail.com

888-333-3688

Words Can Hurt

          Did anyone ever recite that little ditty when someone had called you a name or said something unpleasant about you?  Do you recall that it was NOT very comforting?  Not only is it not comforting but it is also NOT TRUE.

          The Truth is that bones almost always heal but words can leave a lifelong psychic scar. Why? Because the message to the victim is this: we, your peers, see you as worthless, pathetic, stupid, ugly, an idiot, a fool, a lesser being than the rest of us. The intention of the perpetrator is to humiliate, dominate, and bring the victim to despair and powerless rage.  Pretty mean. It makes me think of “The Lord of the Flies.”

          Words ARE just words though, aren’t they?  In fact, we can often say the same words in light-hearted teasing and the recipient will perceive then as being “not really meant, no threat, just kidding.” So then, what is the difference?

           The difference is in the ‘perceived intent of the speaker’ by the recipient. As receivers, we are always subconsciously assessing messages for intent. When someone says something unkind to another (and means it), the intention carries with it a menacing and distancing message. The message: “you are no longer an acceptable member and are, therefore, ousted from our group.”

          An extreme example of this hurtful distancing behavior is a practice known as “shunning.” “Shunning” is a practice used by some societal groups for punishment and control.  If a member of the group is cast out, he is considered to be “dead” to the rest of the group, including family members. Contact is often forbidden for the duration of the shunned person’s life.

          Studies of “shunning” suggest that the practice is said to cause grave and devastating effects on those involved. It is considered to be a form of psychological torture. The same might be said of the practice of “solitary confinement.”

          The question becomes: why should it matter what others think? The answer lies in the fact that we humans have evolved into “herd” creatures. The humans who banded together and survived,  propagated. The quotation “No man is an island” speaks to that idea.

          This “herd animal” factor is hard-wired into us: any threat to our connection with our “herd,” “tribe” or “society,” sets off a limbic-system driven “fight-flight-or-freeze” response.

           It is easy to see how hurtful words can have monumental impact on the receiver. If you have any doubt, however, please read the letter posted below, taken from the relevant and timely book entitled “The Bully, The Bullied, and The Bystander” by Barbara Coloroso.

BREAKING THE CYCLE

“I shall remember forever and will never forget

Monday: my money was taken

Tuesday: names were called

Wednesday: my uniform was torn

Thursday: my body pouring with blood

Friday: it’s ended

Saturday: freedom”

This is the final diary page of thirteen-year-old Vijay Singh.  He was found hanging from the banister rail at home on Sunday.

From the book “Bullycide, Death at Playtime: An Expose’ of Child Suicide Caused by Bullying,” by Neil Marr and Tim Field.

“Words can never hurt me?” Maybe it’s time to rethink that idea. If words from the past still taunt you, hypnosis can help.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

888-333-3688

http://www.hypno4success.com

NOTABLE  QUOTABLE

Is it Friday yet?

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.

Benjamin Disraeli (1804 – 1881)

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"Oh No--Not Again!

I see this “it’s-not-about-the-socks-on-the-floor” dynamic all the time: in my clients, with my friends, with my family, and even with myself. When an argument doesn’t quite make sense and there seems to be zero chance of getting the other person to see your side of it, the chances are very likely that you’re dealing with an issue that is “not about the socks on the floor.”

The event or issue, on its face, standing alone without context, is often fairly neutral. But somehow each person sees the other person’s actions as being a sign that he is being hard-headed, stubborn, unyielding, unsympathetic, disrespectful, unloving, selfish, and mean. That he has no clue how it makes you feel and there’s no way you can explain it to him (or her). And he (or she) feels that by not accepting his behavior, getting angry and upset, that you are being hard-headed, stubborn, unyielding, unsympathetic, uncaring, selfish, unloving and mean.

And there you both stand, squared off, arms crossed, jaws set and one thousand percent certain that each one is totally and completely right and justified. You both become emotionally hijacked (which is another concept for another time). The Berlin wall has just been resurrected.

For the life of you, neither of you really wants to fight or have unpleasantness. Each simply wants to be understood, heard, acknowledged, accepted for who they are, and loved.

Where is the disconnect and why is it so very hard to bridge? Because we forget that 90 percent of all communication is nonverbal. It is the tones of voice, facial expressions, body postures, fumphing, slamming doors, stomping and growling that are all communicating loud and clear.

No wonder you keep arguing about the socks on the floor. At that moment in time, both are totally clueless as to how the other person feels, what they think, or how the interchange has impacted him. Half the time, neither of you really knows how YOU feel or what you’re upset about. All each of you is aware of is that life has become temporarily unbearable...AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

The dynamic is really about “if you loved me the way I want to be loved,” “if you cared enough to listen and hear,” “you never understand,” “you are being a total jerk” and you are completely and totally wrong and unreasonable AND YOU will never change.

Usually each person has some vague idea that it’s not really about the “socks on the floor,” but neither can they figure out not what the issue really is. One or both might be a “right fighter,” where it is more important to them to be “RIGHT” than it is to solve the problem. Usually neither of them really recognizes the real issues of feeling that the partner doesn’t love them, care about them, bother to see their side, and so forth.

In time, they get tired of being mad and they sort of make-up. What that usually means is that they never quite resolve the real issues of not feeling loved, respected, acknowledged and heard. They simply agree to stop fighting and let it all be swept under the rug.

At some level, both people usually recognize deep down that the surface issue is really not that important when you look at it out of context but neither can figure out what’s really wrong.

How in the world can you stop this painful and destructive cycle?  How in the world can you move to a way of communicating that bypasses this difficulty?

Check back for part 3 of 3.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

888-333-3688

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The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.

Peter Drucker (1909 – 2005)

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Part 1 of 3

Have you ever noticed that when people argue or disagree that the supposed issues don’t really seem to be worth fighting over?  Maybe you notice that a vague feeling hovers around like a bad smell; that the “topic” is not quite what is wrong?  But, you ask yourself, “What is it?”

Let me explain the concept of  ”It’s not about the socks on the floor.” Years ago I was a working wife and mother; my former husband was a very hard-working business owner.  We both really like a super clean, neat home.  He worked way too many hours and would come home exhausted.  I was busy too, but I really loved to scrub and spit shine our wonderful big house. My vision: when he got home on Saturday night, everything would be perfectly perfect.  We could both kick-back and enjoy what was left of the evening.  I saw it as my gift to both of us.  I eventually got household help but that was then.

One Saturday evening, after I had been scrubbing and straightening all day, he came home and  trudged up the stairs as exhausted as I had ever seen him.  He plopped down on the bed, yanked his shoes and socks off and threw them into the middle of the floor.  I was devastated, hurt and confused…and madder than hell.

We looked at each other and then at the socks and then back at each other again.  For a moment we were both mute.  Our faces were like stone, beet-red and frozen.

Fortunately for us, we looked back at the socks on the floor… and started to laugh.  Somehow, we could see that our feelings were really about:  “If you loved me, you would understand how exhausted I am and wouldn’t care if I threw my socks on the floor” and “If you loved me, you would understand how hard I worked, how good it felt to have everything finished and you wouldn’t throw your socks on my perfectly perfect, clean floor.”

From then on, it was easier to spot when “It’s not about the socks on the floor.”  The real issue was usually some variation of “If you really loved me…”  It can also be some variation of “I want what I want when I want it and you can’t deny me,” but that’s a different discussion.

I see this all the time in my practice, friends, family, and even in myself. When an argument feels wretched but doesn’t quite make sense, the chances are very likely that you’re dealing with an issue like “It’s about the socks on the floor.”

The “topic,” without context, is often fairly neutral. But the perceived intention is that each is being hard-headed, stubborn, unyielding, unsympathetic, disrespectful, unloving, selfish, and will never understand how you feel.

There you both stand, squared off, arms crossed, jaws set and one thousand percent certain that you alone are totally and completely right and justified.  You have both become “emotionally high-jacked.”  The Berlin wall has just been resurrected.  What to do now?  (Part 2 of 3 to follow)

In the meantime, here’s to your success…

Susan French, MA, CHt

http://www.hypno4success.com

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(out of the mouths of the Peanuts…)

Sally Brown:  ”What’s the matter, big brother? “

Charlie Brown: ” We’ve got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day is upon us. ” Sally Brown:  ”I haven’t even finished eating all of my Halloween candy.”

Movie: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (TV)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone How do you do around the holidays? Do you find yourself cheery, upbeat, energetic and excited?   Or do find yourself feeling stressed-out, anxious, depressed, fatigued and grumpy?  Do you notice yourself hunching your shoulders, worrying about money, who to gift and how much to spend?   Do you fear the omnipresent gooey, tempting food and drink and the five to ten pounds you’re probably going to gain?

I think it is a fair assumption that most people experience negative feelings than they might prefer.   And doesn’t it really start at Halloween with swiping your kids candy stash,just  as the cold weather begins to bite?

Well, I don’t know about you, but that’s definitely what happens to me. I begin to unconsciously cringe, crab at people and I start the cold sweats and bad dreams. What’s going on and what can we do to ease up and chill?

Many people have varying degrees of SAD (Seasonally Affective Disorder).   SAD is a seasonal disorder that makes suffers feel depressed for no reason.  SAD symptoms can be eased by using a special lightbox that offsets the increase in darkness and cold.  Lightboxes can be a Godsend.

It’s been discovered that many of us have a Vitamin D deficiency, especially in the winter when we don’t get much sunlight. Vitamin D deficiencies can make us cold, achy, hungry, depressed, anxious, cranky, among many other symtoms. You have to be careful with Vitamin D, though.   Your doctor needs to test your blood.   Too much Vitamin D via supplementation can be toxic. A cautionary note.

Though I can only speak  for myself, but I know I have lots of good company. The perceived need for a lot of extra money, energy expenditure, and rampant expectations of myself and life in general wipe me out before it’s even Thanksgiving.  Thanksgiving is like the murky tolling of a death knell.  Black Friday indeed.

I start figuring out money, when to shop, who to shop for,  and what in God’s name to give everyone.  My shoulders hunch more; my chin disappears into my chest. I feel victimized and overwhelmed. It only comes once a year, thank goodness.   Bah humbug starts to leak into my attitude no matter how hard I try.

I could easily go from Halloween to after New Year’s DAY (and my birthday two days later) without passing “GO” or collecting $200. Right straight from October 31ist to January 4th.  Nothing would make me happier.  Really!  I mean, I can buy myself the wrong style, color and size for way too much money.  I don’t need help.

Somehow, the Holidays DO come once a year whether I like it or not. They come and they pass, no matter what.   Somehow everything gets done that needs to get done, no matter what.  And believe me, I can’t wait for January 4th.

So what to do, what to do? Little by little each year I get a little wiser.  Let me share.   Maybe my discoveries will help you cope with the downside of the Holiday season.

I take Vitamin D and calcium and get as much sunlight as I can. Ditto: Vitamin C, Vitamin A (fish oil only), and a variety of immune boosters.  I make sure that I can stay warm.  Being cold has never sweetened my disposition, so I’ve learned to prepare.   I don’t mind my nose being cold, but THAT’S ALL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I let everything in my normal daily life go as much as I can. My room gets messy(ier).  My car gets dirty. My laundry piles up. Sometimes even my bills are late.   I try to think of  The Holidays as a mini-vacation (more like forced, unpaid leave if you ask me, but whatever.   I try not to eat too much junk but I don’t harass myself if I indulge.

I lower my expectations of myself, others and life in general as much as possible.. I try to factor in the traffic and crowds and flu.   And I breathe…deeply… and frequently. I love the music and the lights and the spirit of giving and excitement, so I focus on that as much as I can. I leave as much empty space in my life as I can manage.

I had a lightbulb moment a few years ago that has helped me a lot. I suddenly realized that December 25th (I celebrate Christmas, even though I’m quasi-Jewish) will come right on time, no matter what. I can’t avoid it, delay it, or ignore it. It comes, whether I’m ready or not. So I accept that going in. Whatever doesn’t get done by December 24th…no one dies. It comes, it passes and it’s over. I get done what I can but I try to pace myself and not move heaven and earth to make this the “best Christmas ever.”

Year after year, no matter whether I was ready or not, December 25th came and went. After it was all done, everyone is exhausted, broke and can’t remember what was supposed to get done but didn’t. Boxing day (December 26th) finds most people  I know, whether they celebrate Boxing Day or not, lounging in their jammies,  laying around watching dumb old TV, eating and drinking whatever’s left over. Maybe we try to make up for all of our crushing disappointments by hitting the after Christmas sales.

Whew! It seems as if we all heave a humongous GROUP SIGH.  It’s over for one more year, one more time. So, take it from an old hand. Stay warm. Rest as much as possible.  Plan on listening to your car radio…a lot.  Get as much sunlight as possible. Take vitamins. Try to stay as much on the track of normal living, but do as little as is humanly possible. I try to eat right but I enjoy the eggnog, holiday cookies and accept my broken check book for what it is.

And guess what? No matter what, December 25th comes and then goes. I’ve enjoyed my friends and family. I really enjoy my feeble attempt to take my Holidays in stride, leaving as much as I can  until tomorrow, or, preferably. the day after. No one dies and the sky doesn’t fall.

I know that my checkbook will get fixed, I’ll catch up on my sleep, all the wrappings will get onto the boxes and then into the trash.  I mean, think about it: isn’t it true?   Even the tree will come down sometime before June.   I stock up on a gazillion movies and pizza and leftovers.  I OD on a gazillion movies between December 25th (or whatever day your holiday begins) and January 1st,  getting out of bed to go to the bathroom and get more cold pizza.

You know what.  It seems to work. Try it.   Maybe it will help you enjoy the holidays with a little less stress and a lot more chill.   Before you know it, it’s January 2nd, no matter what. For me, it’s January 4th, the day after my birthday that my family really has no heart for… but they muster through  like the troopers they are.

I spend a lot of time listening to holiday music and gawking dreamily at the lights. (So shoot me,  I love holiday music). Its free and it takes no energy whatsoever to listen and look. I eat a little chocolate. Drink a little eggnog. The gym will be there after the first week in January.  I’ve already ordered three months of Nutrisystem.  The cost and taste of  that alone is motivating, trust me.

And then, before I catch my breath, guess what? It’s Valentine’s Day. LOL. And the beat goes on, doesn’t it? My ideas may all sound dark and pessimistic and miserable but they work for me. I hope that some of them work for you. After all, it’s only Thanksgiving, isn’t it?

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone.   Happy Black Friday.   Start the countdown. You’ll make it.   I promise.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

www.hypno4success.com

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance,

the wise grows it under his feet.

—James Oppenheim

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Practice this and Happiness will Follow

_______________________________

One thing we know for sure: you can’t be happy if you’re not alive!  I’m certain we agree on that.

There is no debate about our physical survival needs.  Deprived of these we will quickly die.

But what about our more vague and subtle emotional need?  According to Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, in their book the “Human Givens,”  if we ignore or refuse to attend to certain emotional needs in our daily life, we may very well not feel so enthusiastic about being alive.

These needs include:

• Security and safety
• Attention (giving and receiving)
• Affection (give and receiving)
• Sense of autonomy and control
• Being part of a wider community
• Friendship and intimacy
• Status in social groupings
• Sense of competence and achievement
• Some feeling of meaning,  purpose, value  in life
• Enough challenge to push us to grow

To these I would like to add that each of us needs a reasonable amount of “downtime,” “me-time,” “non-demand” time other than sleeping, to do with as we wish.

It is easier to ignore these needs, to put them on the back burner while we attend to the “obligations” of our lives.  And, we can get away with it…for  awhile.  Neglected, ignored or, more frequently, unrecognized, for any length of time and we will start getting those “Pay Now or Die” messages from our inner selves.

These messages often come in the form of what I call a “gnawing inner discontent.”  Nothing is really wrong but nothing is really right either.  These messages are delivered through vague aches and pains, bone-dragging weariness, insomnia or sleeping too much.  They might be delivered as “panic attacks” or vague chronic uneasiness.

If you continue to ignore the messages, you may find yourself taking the next step: drinking, drugging, eating too much and of the comfort variety, spending, shopping, gambling, any and all form of addictive, compulsive behaviors.  Somewhere along the line of denial we learned that these “quick fixes” will distract us and even give us a quick shot of endorphins to ease the pain.  Temporarily.  Very temporarily.

The caveat: as physical pain is an urgent message to attend to something potentially life-threatening, emotional pain is not so immediate, precise or easily discovered.

Remember the quote from Henry David Thoreau:  ”The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  Did it ever occur to you that he might have been speaking of you…or me?

If any of these words hit a tender spot in you, you might want to do a scan or your own inner landscape.  Learn to take your own pulse.  When you feel these  signs of unease, ask yourself:  ”What is it that I need right now?”  And for God’s sake, take yourself seriously.

What are some specific signs and symptoms?  Tune in for part 3 of Keys to Happiness.

In the meantime, a wise mentor and/or hypnotherapy can help.

Here’s to your success.

Susan French

877-583-2026

http://www.hypno4success.com

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

_________________________

At last...we hope.

There are certainly times when it doesn’t seem as if a task is ever going to reach it’s conclusion.

My favorite quote is one of John Lennon’s:  ”Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”   I find myself repeating it often.  It keeps me sane.

There are some other favorite phrases that I mutter to myself when I can’t see then end of the tunnel.

“One day at a time”  (often one minute at a time)

“Easy does it but do it”

“We strive for progress, not perfection”

“It’s always about the journey and not the destination”

And last but certainly never least

“God grant me the Serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference”

These are my sanity savers.  Feel free to  mutter them whenever you need to.  They help.

And if they don’t help, hypnotherapy can.

Here’s to YOUR success…

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026