No talk? Small talk? Real talk is necessary for happiness and feelings of connection.

Small talk is part of everyday life, but it’s the substantial, meaningful conversations that may make you happy. That’s one possibility suggested in a new study examining how conversation connects to happiness.

Researchers, led by Matthias Mehl at the University of Arizona, looked at the different types of conversation that happy and unhappy people participate in. The study, published in the journal Psychological Science, was somewhat small, involving 79 undergraduates, but meshes well with established ideas that happiness and social life are intertwined.

Experts found that the happiest people in the study engaged in only one-third as much small talk as the unhappiest participants. Happy people tended to have twice as many substantive conversations, and spent 25 percent less time alone, than the unhappiest participants.

These insights fit with what psychologists have seen previously: that loneliness predicts depression, and that feelings of social connectedness are important for happiness, said Susan Turk Charles, psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, who was not involved in the study.

Substantive conversations create a feeling of belonging that leads to happiness, she said. Conversely, people who suffer from depression tend to withdraw from others.

The method that the researchers used was creative, Charles said. Instead of bringing people into a lab, as traditionally done in these sorts of studies, they had participants wear a recording device for four days, picking up conversations that they had.

The Electronically Activated Recorder sampled 30 seconds of sound every 12.5 minutes, giving researchers a broad range of conversations to examine in terms of “small talk” vs. “deep conversation.”

The bottom line is that maintaining friendships can help with emotional well-being. Friends buffer negative events and provide support, Charles said. Don’t be too busy to have a meaningful conversation, she said.

“It really is important in your life. It should be something that you prioritize just as much as you prioritize, maybe, working on your career or getting that project finished,” she said.

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Posted by: Elizabeth Landau - CNN.com Health Writer/Producer
Filed under: Psychology

The human need for feelings of meaningful connection are recognized by Abraham Mazlow in his “Hierarchy of Needs,” Joe Griffin and Ian Tyrrell in the work on the “Human Givens,” and probably throughout history.

I’ve always noticed how nervous I get when I’m stuck in a situation where people are going to talk about “kids and crabgrass” or “Dancing With The Stars” and the latest “Survivor” series.

How about you? Do you ever feel lonliest in a crowd? It sounds like it is a natural human response. On the other hand, if social phobia holds you back, hypnotherapy can help.

Here’s to your success….

Susan French
www.hypno4success.com/blog
hypno4success@socal.rr.com
877-583-2026

Please remember: your comments are valued.  Please make them.  SKF

Is this how you're feeling these days?

Not to get political here on my health and wellness hypnosis blog, but I would ask everyone to think about what that means and how it applies in my life and practice today.

Contemplating the enormous problems before us; knowing that there are NO easy answers, I have retreated to my position that I know nothing for absolute sure.  In this I have found wisdom and maturity.

It’s easy to fuss, fight, throw sticks and stones as well as a lot of unsubstantiated accusations back and forth.

I have an opinion and I think I know who I trust more than others from their track records of truthfulness.  My opinion is not what matters.

In making your important governmental decisions, it’s essential to find substantiated information and to avoid listening to zealots…especially those who make a lot of money being zealous.

Making decisions about how to vote and who’s word to trust is not so far from handling any relationship, whether it is in your community or in your home.  So are good guidelines for effective communication:

1.   Listen to hear the other’s point-of-view, whether you agree or not.

2.   Listen with as open a mind as you can manage, not to agree but to hear.

3.   Try to stay calm.  When we get angry, our IQ actually goes down, our memory is interfered with chemically, and we are unable to be rational and objective.

4.   Dealing with anyone who has an agenda, which is any political viewpoint, especially those who have something to gain monetarily, check facts and be alert for covert persuasion tricks.

Whether we are talking about the injustice of leaving people out of healthcare, no matter what solution we favor, is no better than leaving people to die in streets as in the Dark Ages and third world countries.

There is much, much at stake here for all of us.  Do your best.  I try to do so as well.

If this is all too overwhelming and you need some stress management, help with insomnia, help with anger management or panic attacks, hypnosis can help you find peace and serenity in your own skin.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

www.hypno4success.com/blog

Your comments are welcomed.

Norman Cousins is probably our best known example of this Truth. Norman Cousins (June 24, 1915 – November 30, 1990) was an American political journalist, author, professor, and world peace advocate.

At age 11, he was misdiagnosed with tuberculosis and placed in a sanatorium. Despite this, he was an athletic young man, displaying early on the optimistic character that ultimately gave him years of life, long past the “expiration date” given
to him by his doctors.

It was as a professor at UCLA, where he did research on the biochemistry of human emotions, that led him to his belief that positive emotions held the key to healing.

He wrote a collection of best-selling non-fiction books on illness and healing, as well as a 1980 autobiographical memoir, Human Options: An Autobiographical Notebook.

Late in life Cousins the diagnosis was changed to ankylosing spondylitis (AS), a form of crippling arthritis. Though it was later speculated that he actually had reactive arthritis instead, but the result was the same: chronic debilitating pain and disability.

His struggle with this illness is detailed in the book and movie “Anatomy of an Illness,” about illness as perceived by the patient: reflections on healing and regeneration.

Told that he had little chance of surviving Cousins developed his own recovery program incorporating megadoses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx Brothers

It was this belief that allowed him to fight the ravages of his illnesses, even his later diagnosed heart disease. He fought both by taking massive doses of Vitamin C and,
according to him, by training himself to laugh.

Taking his own advice, he prescribed for himself a program of laughter daily: “I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep,” he reported.

“When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval.”

He died of heart failure on November of 1990, having survived years longer than his doctors predicted: 10 years after his first heart attack, 26 years after his collagen illness, and 36 years after his doctors first diagnosed his heart disease.

He proved his theory by being his own best doctor, leaving us a legacy that proves that “laughter really is our best medicine.”

Medical science has come a long way since then, proving more and more completely that our bodies follow the pictures, attitudes and emotions in our minds. Of course, there is no better way to utilize these ideas than with hypnotherapy.

If you’re struggling with illness in any form, hypnosis provides a sturdy vehicle for wellness.

Here’s to your success…

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

Boost your optimism score

Hard to remember when you’re facing a bump in the road or a temporary setback.  Clinical research has shown that attitude and optimism are a far better indicator of success than any other qualities.  Martin Seligman (”Learned Optimism”) did major studies of this phenomenon.

When I stumble in life, particular on an important project, I give myself five to fifteen minutes to sit in the  corner and suck my thumb.  ”I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over ” as the song goes.

I have a personal saying for times like these: “You might  get me down but you can’t keep me down.”  This is directed at the obstacle, the driver of the obstacle or God/Higher Power and sometimes just at the Outer Darkness.

You haven’t failed until you breathed your  last breath, and even then you haven’t failed because you were almost there.  You just didn’t know it.

If you are having difficulties falling into depression, lethargy, the “I don’t wanna’s,” being your own worst critic, a few sessions of ego-strengthening through hypnotherapy can help.

To your success…

Susan

www.hypno4success.com

Rose Dorothy Franken

I’m sure glad that I’m not the only one that feels this way.  I thought I was being dorkish but it was always too much fun.

Happy Valentine's Day...or not!

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

According to Arthritis Today (October 2009) many people are turning to hypnosis for pain management. Joseph Barber, PhD, a clinical professor of anesthesiology and rehabilitation at the University of Washington School of Medicine in Seattle, uses hypnosis to treat arthritis pain.

One patient, a 73-year-old grandmother with severe pain from knee osteoarthritis, couldn’t tolerate anti-inflammatory drugs With just three hypnosis treatments – an unusually fast response – the pain in her knee decreased and she was able to return to normal daily activity. An analysis of 18 studies of hypnosis and pain at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York shows substantial pain relief in 75 percent of participants.

You don’t need to suffer and you don’t need to suffer alone. Hypnosis really works.

Susan French
877-583-2026
http://www.hypno4success.com

http://www.hypno4success.com/programs/pain-reduction/

Valentine’s Day coming up fast!

Happy Snowmegeddon rest of the country.  I’m so happy I live in Southern California

Susan

http://www:hypno4success.com

I’m noticing all the articles about how to keep resolutions. Hah! I don’t even make them any more. What’s the point? Especially if you make them when you’re bloated with sugar, fat and alcohol and ground down emotionally by fatigue, anxiety about money, the flu, and the cold, darkness of yucky winter. And this with such hubris from a southern california girl where we scream “I’m cold” when the weather hit’s 68 degrees.

I wish I had the integrity to feel ashamed.

I don’t. I like being warm. I like being comfortable. I like having it my way. Shoot me. Call me names…lol.

Ah well. Another year another dollar, we fervently hope.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Susan

http://www.hypno4success.com

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them — every day begin the task anew.”

Saint Francis de Sales

If you really take a good hard look at the origins of everything in your life you consider to be a problem, you will find a little (or big) place where you don’t like or love yourself very much.

If you take an even harder look, you will find that every problem was once a solution to help you cope with something else.

“Every problem was once a solution” according to David Botsford, a leading NLP and Hypnotherapy practitioner.   What he’s saying makes sense.

If you started to smoke  to help yourself to fit in with peers when you were moving into your adulthood, it served the purpose of relieving some social anxiety.  In time, you find, it  no longer serves you.  You no longer have that social anxiety problem but now you have a smoking habit that’s hard to stop.

If you learned to eat comfort foods to alleviate feelings of loneliness, boredom or depression, it served the purpose of both distracting you from your feelings and also of having your mind/brain/body release neurotransmitters that lift your spirits and actually comfort you.  In  time, you began to realize that your habit has a big price tag.  Now you’re overweight  and even more depressed, lonely and bored.

Hypnosis is wonderfully effective for both helping you to identify the feelings that you’re avoiding and to soften those cravings and urges while you reprogram yourself to deal with “life on life’s terms” in a more productive way.

In the meantime, always remember to love, encourage and forgive yourself as if you were the person you love most in this life…because you should be.

Happy Holidays.

Susan

http://www.hypno4success.com

877-583-2026