NOTABLE QUOTABLE

“When you’re feeling terrific, notify your face.” -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

OR

“He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.” -Benjamin Franklin

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Top or Bottom -- You Figure it Out

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Herein lies the great dichotomy, the constant double-message, splitting our opinions, especially of ourselves. I thought it ironic that the above quotes followed one after the other. For a moment or two I felt like making an endless filmloop out of them.

This internal divide becomes more acute at Holiday time, doesn’t it? Holidays are supposed to be about taking time to show special love to the special people in our lives. Aren’t they? However, as the Holidays trudge closer to P-day (“Present Day”) though, my inner vision becomes one of two giant stallions tethered on either side of a poor, beset, struggling, guilt-ridden, trying-not-to-to-be-broke-and-exhausted person. It’s truly a gruesome sight.

The Stallion of “Love Everyone Else First” starts to snort and stamp. The Stallion of “Aren’t-I- Somewhere-on-this-Love-List-Too?” begins to pull. “And here lies Julian Grey. He had the right of way” (this dumb little ditty from high-school driver’s ed begins to echo in my ears).

I have a deeply-held resentment against any philosophy that tauts love others but doesn’t include the Most Important Person on that list as well. In my life, my most treasured resource is myself. “If Momma Ain’t Happy, Ain’t No-Body Happy!” I like to growl menacingly.

But the truth is, sometimes I’m going to throw plastic bottles in with the rest of the trash…because I truly don’t have the wherewithal to walk outside to the Recycle Bin. The truth is, there are many times, (in fact, most of the time) when I go grocery shopping, I refuse to trot politely back to where the carts are stored and put them away. Yes, and I, too, often leave my socks on the floor, even though I’m the one who has to pick them up eventually.

And why, you might ask? Because I realized awhile back, that the greatest resource I had was myself. My stamina. My energy. My good-will. And, I realized, that I was not qoing to squander it on nonsense.

Nonsense to me is pretendng to be better than someone else. Trying to be more righteous, more pure, more polite, more considerate, more perfect.

Nonsense to me also is forgetting that I get to be on that damned list too. I get to up there at the top. Not instead of, but also. I matter too. My wallet, my feet, my back, my limited tolerance to chaos and crowds. They all count too.

Some may think me crass. A spoilsport. Un-Holy. A Bah-hum person. But no. Think again. This is an important consideration. It is my fervent belief and observation that people are healthy, happier and have the most wonderful, booming self-esteem, when they remember to put themselves on that list. And at the top of that list, at that!

Yeah or Nay, folks? Feel free to comment. I love to hear everyone’s thoughts. Just as long as I remember that mine is the most important one…to Me. Happy Holidays. Happy New Year. Happy Living.

Here’s to your success…(and mine),

Susan French

http://www.hypno4success.com

Please feel free to comment, suggest, ask questions, or even make snarky remarks.  If anyone wants to email me privately as susanfrench2010@gmail.com .

NOTABLE QUOTABLE

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance,

the wise grows it under his feet.

—James Oppenheim

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Practice this and Happiness will Follow

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One thing we know for sure: you can’t be happy if you’re not alive!  I’m certain we agree on that.

There is no debate about our physical survival needs.  Deprived of these we will quickly die.

But what about our more vague and subtle emotional need?  According to Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell, in their book the “Human Givens,”  if we ignore or refuse to attend to certain emotional needs in our daily life, we may very well not feel so enthusiastic about being alive.

These needs include:

• Security and safety
• Attention (giving and receiving)
• Affection (give and receiving)
• Sense of autonomy and control
• Being part of a wider community
• Friendship and intimacy
• Status in social groupings
• Sense of competence and achievement
• Some feeling of meaning,  purpose, value  in life
• Enough challenge to push us to grow

To these I would like to add that each of us needs a reasonable amount of “downtime,” “me-time,” “non-demand” time other than sleeping, to do with as we wish.

It is easier to ignore these needs, to put them on the back burner while we attend to the “obligations” of our lives.  And, we can get away with it…for  awhile.  Neglected, ignored or, more frequently, unrecognized, for any length of time and we will start getting those “Pay Now or Die” messages from our inner selves.

These messages often come in the form of what I call a “gnawing inner discontent.”  Nothing is really wrong but nothing is really right either.  These messages are delivered through vague aches and pains, bone-dragging weariness, insomnia or sleeping too much.  They might be delivered as “panic attacks” or vague chronic uneasiness.

If you continue to ignore the messages, you may find yourself taking the next step: drinking, drugging, eating too much and of the comfort variety, spending, shopping, gambling, any and all form of addictive, compulsive behaviors.  Somewhere along the line of denial we learned that these “quick fixes” will distract us and even give us a quick shot of endorphins to ease the pain.  Temporarily.  Very temporarily.

The caveat: as physical pain is an urgent message to attend to something potentially life-threatening, emotional pain is not so immediate, precise or easily discovered.

Remember the quote from Henry David Thoreau:  ”The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”  Did it ever occur to you that he might have been speaking of you…or me?

If any of these words hit a tender spot in you, you might want to do a scan or your own inner landscape.  Learn to take your own pulse.  When you feel these  signs of unease, ask yourself:  ”What is it that I need right now?”  And for God’s sake, take yourself seriously.

What are some specific signs and symptoms?  Tune in for part 3 of Keys to Happiness.

In the meantime, a wise mentor and/or hypnotherapy can help.

Here’s to your success.

Susan French

877-583-2026

http://www.hypno4success.com