5 Ways To Cope With Toxic People
Do you find that you have one or more toxic people in your life? Did you know that even loved ones can be toxic to you? There are ways to cope with toxic people.
It is difficult when there are people you interact with every day that are so toxic they affect your mood. After spending time with these people, you are left feeling, exhausted, sad, and even a little unsettled about yourself.
They probably even anger you... a lot.
These toxic people might be your long-time friends, family, parents or children, spouses, and co-workers. Because of the nature of your relationship with them, you continue to deal with the roller coaster of feelings because you just don’t know what else to do.
All the advice of cutting people out of your life may not be possible for you. So what do you do? Follow these steps to learn how else you can cope with toxic people.
What you will learn in this article:
- Helpful resources for yourself in dealing with toxic people
- Proven tips on how to deal with toxic people
How To Cope With Toxic People?
How do you not let these people affect you? What do you do if you feel like you are too weak to just ignore them? I have offered some of this advice to my clients that were in the same situation. It is never easy. Learning the tools you need to lessen their impact on you will help you.
Resources are powerful tools to help you deal with life's stressors. Here are a few of my favorites.
• Loving What Is by Byron Katie. This is a book, also available on audible from Amazon, which takes a whole new approach to dealing with people. It is enlightening and will change how you deal with things – if you allow it to.
• Hypnotherapy. There is nothing better than lessening the “charge” something has on you. Hypnotherapy can help you develop disconnections to the things that irritate you the most. It can also address why you are choosing to surround yourself with people that hurt you or ways to cope with toxic people that you have to be around.
Here Are The 5 Ways To Cope With Toxic People
- Feel compassion for yourself when you feel bad. Toxic people have a way of saying just the right things to bring you crashing down. You may question yourself and your own self-worth. Going easy on you should be the first step. The next time that you feel bad about an interaction, accept your feelings instead of denying them. It’s okay to feel bad because someone hurt you or made you angry. Stay in these thoughts for a minute and then try to create a feeling of love in you. Think about your pet, your child, your spouse, or anything that brings up the feeling of unconditional love and happiness. Repeat this every time you feel bad. This is not a magic wand to remove the pain, but it certainly sets you on a good path to create healthier mental and emotional habits.
- Accept uncertainty. Life is full of uncertainties that are often beyond your control. Every day you are confronted with major or minor changes in your life. When you are stressed, it becomes harder to deal with normal things that would generally roll right off your back. Sometimes you just have to let go of control and accept that people are jerks for the sake of being jerks and it doesn’t have anything to do with you. This is on them.
- Talk to someone. Share your feelings with someone you trust. The advice is not as important as the emotional connection and the willingness of friends to listen. In fact, don’t ask for advice, just tell your friend that you need someone just to listen and care. In this article, I wrote about how to connect with people who will listen to you.
- Practice empathy and compassion. Try to have empathy towards those who frustrate you. In themselves, they want to be happy. However, there are just some people that don’t know how to be happy. As weird as that sounds, it’s true. Try to understand why they act the way they do. You may not know their inner world or what is going on there. Remember… hurt people hurt people. It’s not right but it’s also how a lot of people operate.
- Avoid negative word battles with them. Use magic phrases like, "I understand", "I see that it is important for you..." and "Can we find a solution?"Avoid using the word, “You”. It comes across like an accusation. Instead, use "I feel" phrases. You are always responsible for how you feel. When you say something along the lines of “You do this” or “You always”, it makes them even more defensive and critical.
There are some people that you will never receive the outcome you want. Express yourself as positively as possible and leave when you have said what you need to. Take toxic people in short doses and continue to work on yourself.
I specialize in panic attack relief and helping to calm your stressors. If you live in the LA area, I have appointments available in my professional Tarzana office.
Don’t live near me? Or simply don’t want to leave your home? No problem! I also work via Skype or a video chat session. Contact me for more information.