“You will not be punished for your anger,
you will be punished by your anger.”
– Buddha
Anger Gets the Best of the Best of Us--Sometimes
Anger is part of human nature and part of our evolved survival behaviors. However, while feelings are feelings and will occur, our reactions in terms of behavior are under our control. Even though I consider myself to be a relatively calm person, I like everyone else, also blow it sometimes. When I find myself pushed to the breaking point I can feel my face start to get flushed, my face twists and my patience comes to an end. It’s like a kettle rising to boil, with the final result ending in screaming. Not very pleasant to experience! Out of that human response has evolved some strategies I use to calm myself down. Of course, I teach that to clients as well.
If Anger Gets the Best of You More than Sometimes
Even though I know it’s only human nature, that doesn’t mean I have to like it. It also doesn’t mean I don’t have a responsibility to control it. Over the years I’ve used a number of different techniques to control my anger and to help clients control their anger. Here’s a few I’d like to share with you. I hope they help!
- Stop yourself. You can feel yourself losing control. This is the perfect opportunity for you to STOP! If you catch yourself in the middle of a sentence, stop. If you’re 10 minutes into a rant, stop. Practice using a gesture that will give you a physical cue to put the brake on. This may require you to channel your frustration into something like clapping, or tapping your wrist.
- Get some space. If you find yourself in a rage the worst thing you can do is to stay in the situation that is causing you frustration. Separate yourself from the situation so you can try and clear your head and find a better solution.
- Practice deep breathing. I’ve talked about proper breathing techniques in some previous blogs. If you’re feeling angry this is the perfect time to practice these tips! My preferred method is to count backwards from 30 on each exhalation you make. Focus on only your breathing and it will calm you down in no time.
- A great way to analyze the situation is to view it from the perspective of a family member or friend. Pretend you’re in their shoes, watching the situation unfold. It might help you get a better understanding of where your anger came from and that you overreacted.
- Define the problem. Once you’re seeing things more clearly take some time to put the problem into words. What is it exactly that has made you so upset? Define the problem. This will help everyone to understand your concerns.
- Start solving. Now that you have defined the problem it’s time to start finding a solution. Brainstorm your options with others or take notes if you’d like it to be more personal. Just coming up with a variety of options is going to make you feel a lot better.
- Use humor. Humor is a great way for you to calm your emotions. A great way to defuse your anger is to use silly humor. Picture a co-worker wearing a funny hat or recall a funny joke you recently heard. Laughter, as they say, is always the best medicine!
Hypnotherapy and Success Coaching Help Defuse Chronic Anger
There is helpful information about anger issues at the American Psychological Association.
Hypnotherapy can be immensely helpful for anger control. If you or someone you love needs support or assistance, please call me for a free consultation. Simply click on the link below and we’ll chat!
